We all have our favourites. Favourite people. For some, family is a symbol of love, for some that same family is on the opposite end of the spectrum. But no worries to those family haters, because there are friends, who as opposed to family, you can chose. So you chose and make somebody your favourite. Your best friend forever. I say though, nothing is so black and white. Nobody is just the best or the worst. We all have a cocktail mixed of both. For some it's just more vodka with a splash of juice, for some it's like a virgin with a little splash of vodka added when they weren't looking. What determines though what we like and dislike in people?
The answer I found is pretty simple but difficult to take, so buckle up and sit tight cause you might not like it. I believe everything in our life is a mirror of us, meaning what we like in people we acquire in ourselves or wish to acquire, that's why we are drawn to those people, because we want to be around somebody who can inspire us to achieve that level of greatness we dream of. That is pretty cool, right? surround yourself with people who push you to believe in yourself, who make it easy being around them, who make it easy to love.
But it goes the opposite way as well. There are people who make it very difficult to love them or be around them. Those annoying things they do and say, over and over again, and make you wonder are they ever gonna change or should I just shoot myself now? But here comes the big one, for which I asked you to buckle up. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, that annoys you, and the characteristics you hate in others are all your suppressed emotions. The only reason something annoys you is because it is in you, because on some smaller level you do the same annoying things. I know, I know, you probably ran few examples in your head and you say to yourself :" Ah, no, no, no, no.. I am not like him/her. No way. There is no fucking way I am acting like him/her." Let me tell you :" But you are! Just man up and start digging. Admit your shitty emotions and take full responsibility for them."
It is much easier to see things we dislike in others. To point a finger and say :" Look what he did. He is so bad. I am not like him/her." But it's not about others at all. They just show you what you don't like in yourself, and that is why it is so uncomfortable to be around them when they do that thing you don't like, because on a deeper level it makes you remember that you have that , and you don't like that, and you don't like to remember that, that you have that, but you do.
The suppressed emotions start to surface and because you have been denying them for so long it might take a while for you to admit that people you don't like in some way mirror you. That is why I call these people we don't like, or not even the whole person, jut some things they do, I call them our best teachers. They make you look deeper into yourself. They make you look at your shadows, so called shitty emotions. Emotions you are not proud of that's why you have been surpassing them. But it's time to let them go and only way you can do that is by accepting that you have them. If you think there is no problem you can't find a solution, because there is no problem to find a solution for. Got it? You have to start asking yourself, in which situations am I acting the way I don't like, and you will start digging up some interesting shit. Use those annoying people to help you learn more about yourself, and believe it or not you will be grateful to them in the end. Just be patient.
I know that accepting that all you don't like in others resides in you as well is very, very tough, but it is also very freeing. And suddenly you will notice how that person is not annoying you anymore. Then you know you have healed yourself on some level. Remember, we are all just human beings, and I believe we are trying our best. But don't try to be perfect. Nobody actually likes perfect people, and they don't even exist, to be honest. So it's ok to admit you are annoying, or a bit evil sometimes. After all we are the cocktail of both ends, nobody is just vodka or just juice.
Thank You
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