Cravings, we all have them. Somedays we are strong enough to say "No, thank you", somedays, we give in. Some of us, don't even see that there is a problem to have a craving, and they always satisfy it. But does satisfying a craving makes us truly happy?
Our brains think so. The brain always tries to give you what you want. Not what you like, but what it thinks you want, and what it thinks will make you happy. Yes, wanting and liking are fired in different regions of your brain, so they are different. You might like the thought of being fit and healthy but you might want to eat the cake every day, and those two don't go together. Maybe in some parallel universe but as fas as I know, not in this one. If you want to be healthy you need to limit the intake of junk. I don't believe you can have it both ways and I don't know if you even want to. You might think that the cake or that alcoholic beverage gives you immense pleasure but I advise you to think again. Very often when giving into the craving we are not mindful at all, so we usually don't register how we feel for real, therefore we repeat that cycle so many times that, sometimes, it's not even funny anymore.
When you have a craving your body releases chemicals. One of them is dopamine, which signals pleasure centres and you think that, this thing you are doing/ consuming/ eating is making you happy. But those things fall short to bringing you happiness and it tricks your brain into thinking that, you just need more of it then. You fall into trap. Wanting the cake/cigarette/alcohol/, thinking it will make you happy, giving into the craving, realising, you don't feel one bit better, feeling guilty about giving in, giving up and going all in till you feel king of sick. Ok maybe it doesn't work with cigarettes but definitely with food and alcohol, and I can say that from my experience. Once I feel guilty about eating something I just don't give a damn anymore and I go down the spiral. And that is what you call a food coma.
Another thing that your brain does when you experience wanting something, is releasing stress chemicals, which make you think that, if you don't get that thing you want you will be very unhappy. Maybe even die. We all do this. We think :" Once I get this new house/ promotion/sexy body and Bred Pitt as a boyfriend then my life will magically change." But again and again we experience that to be false. We get the new job but nothing changes, we lose that weight but still feel unconfident, we get a sexy ass boyfriend yet we don't believe we deserve him and fuck it all up, or some shit like that. You know what I mean. Why then we don't learn from that? Why we keep getting drunk, stuff our faces and keep running after success life donkeys after the carrot? Why we never stop to ask ourselves, if this thing I am doing truly makes me happy? If it makes me happy why always after doing it I feel so bad, guilty? If I realise that one drink doesn't make me happier why do I fall into the trap, again and again, that more equals more happiness? It's the opposite here. More = more misery and guilt.
How do we change that? How do we rewire our brain to work for us not against us? How can we relearn what makes us truly happy? There is one way I know of and I will share it with you here. MINDFULNESS. You have to become mindful of everything concerning your cravings and addictions. Start noticing when the craving arises. Why? What triggered it? Was it a certain place, time of the day, person? Watch how physically uncomfortable you get because as I mentioned before wanting releases chemical reactions there for you will feel discomfort, if you don't satisfy that craving. Watch your thoughts, how cleverly they are trying to trick you in just having a sip or a small bite, whatever your addiction is. Watch all the excuses you give yourself, that just this one time and then tomorrow I will start fresh. That is the biggest bullshit. THE BIGGEST BULLSHIT. Just in case you didn't get it the first time. THE BIGGEST... Ok, I'm done. Never believe the tomorrow trap!
Pause. When craving arises, pause. More often and for longer periods you will be able to pause and ride the wave of those cravings you will create bigger and bigger gap between you and the craving. When becoming mindful, you automatically switch into self-control and then it is easier to remember why you decided to stay away from what you crave in the first place. When you switch into self-control mode you remember your long term goals easier, and then that craving slowly starts to lose it appeal.
That's, in my opinion, is where true happiness lies. We think we are happy when we can have anything we want whenever we want. We think that that is where real freedom lies. It is not, my friend. It is not. It is a brain's big fat lie. Learning to be mindful and deciding how your life will unfold is much more powerful and freeing then giving into every craving. I am not saying to never eat cake or have a glass of wine. All I am suggesting is to start being honest with yourself. Start asking questions. Start evaluating, if what you think makes you truly happy does so for real. Next time you decide to have that cake, or whatever is your craving, stop after every bite or sip. Stop even before giving in and watch all the thoughts and emotions that arise, because there will be tons and they won't be comfortable. Cravings always come with this sense of urgency. You got to do it now otherwise you might never have it, it will disappear somewhere and you will die. Eat and drink mindfully, and after finishing it ask yourself :" How do I feel? Am I actually as happy as I thought I will be when giving in? Will more of this means more happiness?"
Sooner then later you will start to realise that giving into your craving is not that satisfying at all and once you become more conscious about your choices your brain will follow you and it will become easier and easier. Yes, you might have craving once in a while, but you will take a bite or two and then say "Thank you, I'm good". You will smile because you will know that you are in control. That, for me is a sign of happiness. Creating lasting good habits and being relaxed around things that you used to crave. Those things don't own you anymore. But it's work. The deeper you are the longer it will take. But trust in yourself, trust in the power of the mind to transform itself and the body. The beginnings are always hard but if you are consistent and persistent it will get better, and that, I can promise you.
Please share your cravings and addictions here and maybe we can deal with them together.
Love,Kris
Our brains think so. The brain always tries to give you what you want. Not what you like, but what it thinks you want, and what it thinks will make you happy. Yes, wanting and liking are fired in different regions of your brain, so they are different. You might like the thought of being fit and healthy but you might want to eat the cake every day, and those two don't go together. Maybe in some parallel universe but as fas as I know, not in this one. If you want to be healthy you need to limit the intake of junk. I don't believe you can have it both ways and I don't know if you even want to. You might think that the cake or that alcoholic beverage gives you immense pleasure but I advise you to think again. Very often when giving into the craving we are not mindful at all, so we usually don't register how we feel for real, therefore we repeat that cycle so many times that, sometimes, it's not even funny anymore.
When you have a craving your body releases chemicals. One of them is dopamine, which signals pleasure centres and you think that, this thing you are doing/ consuming/ eating is making you happy. But those things fall short to bringing you happiness and it tricks your brain into thinking that, you just need more of it then. You fall into trap. Wanting the cake/cigarette/alcohol/, thinking it will make you happy, giving into the craving, realising, you don't feel one bit better, feeling guilty about giving in, giving up and going all in till you feel king of sick. Ok maybe it doesn't work with cigarettes but definitely with food and alcohol, and I can say that from my experience. Once I feel guilty about eating something I just don't give a damn anymore and I go down the spiral. And that is what you call a food coma.
Another thing that your brain does when you experience wanting something, is releasing stress chemicals, which make you think that, if you don't get that thing you want you will be very unhappy. Maybe even die. We all do this. We think :" Once I get this new house/ promotion/sexy body and Bred Pitt as a boyfriend then my life will magically change." But again and again we experience that to be false. We get the new job but nothing changes, we lose that weight but still feel unconfident, we get a sexy ass boyfriend yet we don't believe we deserve him and fuck it all up, or some shit like that. You know what I mean. Why then we don't learn from that? Why we keep getting drunk, stuff our faces and keep running after success life donkeys after the carrot? Why we never stop to ask ourselves, if this thing I am doing truly makes me happy? If it makes me happy why always after doing it I feel so bad, guilty? If I realise that one drink doesn't make me happier why do I fall into the trap, again and again, that more equals more happiness? It's the opposite here. More = more misery and guilt.
How do we change that? How do we rewire our brain to work for us not against us? How can we relearn what makes us truly happy? There is one way I know of and I will share it with you here. MINDFULNESS. You have to become mindful of everything concerning your cravings and addictions. Start noticing when the craving arises. Why? What triggered it? Was it a certain place, time of the day, person? Watch how physically uncomfortable you get because as I mentioned before wanting releases chemical reactions there for you will feel discomfort, if you don't satisfy that craving. Watch your thoughts, how cleverly they are trying to trick you in just having a sip or a small bite, whatever your addiction is. Watch all the excuses you give yourself, that just this one time and then tomorrow I will start fresh. That is the biggest bullshit. THE BIGGEST BULLSHIT. Just in case you didn't get it the first time. THE BIGGEST... Ok, I'm done. Never believe the tomorrow trap!
Pause. When craving arises, pause. More often and for longer periods you will be able to pause and ride the wave of those cravings you will create bigger and bigger gap between you and the craving. When becoming mindful, you automatically switch into self-control and then it is easier to remember why you decided to stay away from what you crave in the first place. When you switch into self-control mode you remember your long term goals easier, and then that craving slowly starts to lose it appeal.
That's, in my opinion, is where true happiness lies. We think we are happy when we can have anything we want whenever we want. We think that that is where real freedom lies. It is not, my friend. It is not. It is a brain's big fat lie. Learning to be mindful and deciding how your life will unfold is much more powerful and freeing then giving into every craving. I am not saying to never eat cake or have a glass of wine. All I am suggesting is to start being honest with yourself. Start asking questions. Start evaluating, if what you think makes you truly happy does so for real. Next time you decide to have that cake, or whatever is your craving, stop after every bite or sip. Stop even before giving in and watch all the thoughts and emotions that arise, because there will be tons and they won't be comfortable. Cravings always come with this sense of urgency. You got to do it now otherwise you might never have it, it will disappear somewhere and you will die. Eat and drink mindfully, and after finishing it ask yourself :" How do I feel? Am I actually as happy as I thought I will be when giving in? Will more of this means more happiness?"
Sooner then later you will start to realise that giving into your craving is not that satisfying at all and once you become more conscious about your choices your brain will follow you and it will become easier and easier. Yes, you might have craving once in a while, but you will take a bite or two and then say "Thank you, I'm good". You will smile because you will know that you are in control. That, for me is a sign of happiness. Creating lasting good habits and being relaxed around things that you used to crave. Those things don't own you anymore. But it's work. The deeper you are the longer it will take. But trust in yourself, trust in the power of the mind to transform itself and the body. The beginnings are always hard but if you are consistent and persistent it will get better, and that, I can promise you.
Please share your cravings and addictions here and maybe we can deal with them together.
Love,Kris
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