Coffee And Flute


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Drinking my morning coffee and listening to mesmerizing flute meditation music. Difficult to describe in words how this music makes you feel. The sounds of flute wash over your body from inside out in a very calm and relaxing manner. Feels like nature is hugging you from behind and saying :" Everything is going to be all right. You are doing just fine." 

Some music really has this ability to show you your inside strength. Makes me realise that not always you need an encouragement from people to feel better. 

I feel calm this morning. One thought got me a bit worried. Maybe not worried but thinking. I was talking to my husband about our new business we are starting and he was telling me that he has few people in mind that also would like to join in and do some work. I am ashamed of my first reaction. I got stingy. I didn't like the thought of sharing the profit with others while we haven't gotten anything yet ourselves.

I got stingy and then I felt shame about being stingy because nobody wants to accept to themselves that they are not miss/mister Universe and that they don't always feel like saving the world and sharing. So I accepted all of my unpleasant emotions and to help myself do that I said it out loud to my husband. That is exactly how I said it :" I think I am being stingy with the possible money we can earn, and right now I don't feel like sharing. Plus I feel ashamed for thinking that way. What do you think about it?"


I realised that saying my thoughts and calling my emotions out loud takes out the power of them. Because usually we don't share things we are ashamed of. We don't want to look bad in other people's eyes. But somehow I don't mind. Somehow saying all the "ugly" things that possibly can make me look less then, gives me power, and I feel like it actually makes me a better person because I am being real. I don't try to suppress how I feel but I let it out, let it float and then see what can I learn from it.

Deep down I know I am a good person and if somebody needs help, I will be there. Not always, I am not Jesus, I can also say no, but more often then not I am ready to reach my hand, give my time and full attention. I am learning not to blame myself if I don't feel like helping out everybody because when I do help, I know, it is coming from my heart, not to look good in other people's eyes or just being to uncomfortable to  say no, I do it for real. Isn't it what we all should strive for? To be as real as we can be? Something to think about...


Be calm,
Kris

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