Why Do You Do What You Do?

Simple question. Why do you do what you do? What drives you to take actions you take? We like to think we always have a choice, but very often it doesn't feel like that. You work, because you have to pay the rent, you work out because you want everybody to think you look hot in that dress or without it for that matter, you still do things to make your parents happy, even if they contradict with your truth. If we are being honest with ourselves, the choices we make, are they really based on what we want, or mostly based on what people will think about us? Can you easily be yourself and  not care what people think, or is your every decisions based on pleasing others.

I want to give you an example of my own. For me, before I do anything its very important to align my energy with what I am planing to do, so I can enjoy it. I do my best to mentally prepare myself, therefor making sure that my decision is based purely on doing it because I want to do it, and it will be fun. No, I should do this because..., I need to do it because... Because if your thoughts start with should or need you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. At least for me. Again, I don't want to speak for everybody, just my personal experience. Should/need cary some guilt with it, like if you don't do it you are not good enough. You think that some external action will make you more worthy, but its an illusion, because you are worthy just the way you are. You don't need to prove anything to anybody. I believe that. 

Going back to my example, I want to let you in on what was happening in my mind. It has been few days since my last work day, and I though ok I'm not really doing much, I SHOULD probably at least go to gym. Just because my decision was coming from I should, I really didn't want to go, so I kept stalling myself. Why I should go? What's going to happen if I don't go? But this thought wasn't giving me a break:" Kristine, you really should go. Just go, do it. Push yourself, come on. Don't be lazy. If you want to achieve something, you have to do it even if you don't feel like it." Right? Mmm...

Wrong! Ok here many can think:"Yeah, what's the big deal, just go to the gym!" Because often people don't feel like working out, they push themselves to do it, and in the end they enjoy it. Well, for me it doesn't work like that. For me, do it even if you don't feel like doing it, just doesn't work. If I go when I really feel like doing it, I have so much more energy, I really enjoy it, I push myself and it feels effortless. The gain is physical and mental. If I go for some other reason then because I really want to do it, I end up never enjoying it. Minutes feel like hours, and my mind is just thinking when its going to be over. For me even if I push myself to do it and ignore my mind, it just never feels like it was worth it. Because I believe great training session involves your mind being present in the moment, not thinking when this will be over. Mind is very, very important to me. Only when I'm fully present I can say:" This was great! I really feel this training was of a great benefit to me." 

I have learned to accept myself and my choices and do what works for me. I realised, why should I try to think like everybody else instead of adopting what works for me. Even if people might find that approach lazy or whatever, I have grown not to give a shit. If I do something and I'm not enjoying it, why am I doing it? I just don't see a point. I'm no professional athlete, working out is not my life, I stopped caring what other people think of my body, therefor gym for me is for fun, and I want to keep it like that. I want to go every day, great. I don't feel like going for a week, great. It's great both ways because it's my choice, and that is what's important to me. The same goes for anything in life, making sure I do it for the right reasons, not influenced by guilt, judgment or other people's opinions. So why do you do what you do?