You Always Have A Choice

I woke up this morning feeling tired and a bit pissed off. Not sure why, because everything was as usual. Waking up with my handsome boyfriend, having some lemon water, which by the way is very important for me first thing in a morning, hugs and kisses and all that jazz, oh and some swimming pool action of course. But on the inside something was off.

I tried to think about some exterior reasons why I was feeling that way, and then I realised :" If I am going to make my mood dependent on outer things, I will always need something to change in order for me to be happy." Of course it's easier to react to stuff and say :" Oh, I'm probably pissed off because of my period or I am feeling guilty I'm not eating as healthy as I could (those were my reasons)". You don't want to take responsibility, therefor you chose something outside of you to blame. But I chose the not so easy route. I want to believe in unconditional love. I want to believe that I can feel good no matter what's happening on the outside. I want to believe I have a choice, and I choose happiness.


So often we react habitually, just because we are used to do so. But life always trows at you new situations, new challenges. You possibly can not grow if you keep reacting the same way. It's like you get into a new relationship. New boyfriend, completely different human being from the previous one, but you can't help but keep reacting the same way as if with an old one. You forget to open up and see that this is something new, and you have to learn new ways to keep this relationship going. Or it's like our old school parents that want the best for us, but the way they were brought up is so far from how we live now, that if they want their kids to understand them they have to adopt a new way of thinking. New way at looking at things. The old wont work, even if it did in the past. I guess you could call it evolution.

I sometimes notice myself, for no reason, reacting as the old me. For me my biggest weakness is, I get offended easily. I take everything so personally. I keep telling myself how independent I am and how I don't give a shit what people think about me, but I guess my way till getting there is still a little swim, a little run, a little bike ride away. At least now I can accept that fact and when you accept something it suddenly starts changing.

Going back to this morning I thought to myself, I can keep feeling pissed off and be a little bitch, or I can say to myself :" STOP. This is just some habitual reaction. Everything is completely fine. If you want something to change, you have to change your thoughts. Just breathe before reacting. You have a choice. Chose a new you, and you will be one step closer to unconditional love."

From the outside you may say :" Such a little thing, so what you were a bit angry in the morning? Who doesn't get that?" And I can say, I don't get that. That's why it felt uncomfortable to be this way. I don't think it should be a norm to feel annoyed when we wake up. Mornings should be full of energy, you singing in the shower, dancing by the stove, ready to start an amazing day. At least that is how I want to feel and that is why I like to dig a little deeper into the angry monster that wants to take over my happy breakfast and take something valuable from it.

Once you keep repeating to yourself and believing that you always have a choice, you wont feel like a victim, because you will know you chose it, and if that chose didn't feel good next time make a different choice. It's really no big deal. Don't get stuck on negativity. If you feel bad then say to yourself :" I have a choice. I can keep on feeling bad, and its completely ok. Or I can, right this moment, chose to be happy and well." It wont be as easy as it sounds, but everything takes practise and practise makes perfect. So keep at it and remember, you always have a choice.

Thank You