Oh Dear Happiness. People talk about you a lot nowadays. Really, a lot of talk, talk, talk and of course there are books.There are almost as many books on happiness as there are on different diets, though maybe nothing can beat the diet books. Take any type of food and there is a book saying its good for you, and almost next to it there is one witch lists the reasons why you can't eat it. Not that I have read them, ok maybe just a few, but I'm just saying, rumour has it. But this time no diet talk, and I think dieting is far from happiness anyway. For me.
So there is a lot of talk about happiness, and I myself have read quite a few books about this topic. But is talking and reading about it brings it to us? Is knowing what happiness means to us makes us happy? Is there even one definition on happiness? Is it something we are born with or something we have to cultivate? What makes me happy? What makes others happy? Can I buy it? Or maybe sell it?
Reading and talking about happiness sure is good, but no understanding of happiness and knowing the "right" definition ( and again I don't believe there is one) can compare to truly experiencing it. Happiness suppose to be felt. Felt in your bones, your heart, your... body. I read one article in the physiology magazine and I really want to share it with you in my own words, as it beautifully describes the basis of happiness.
"One human after dying was very lucky to end up in paradise, but before he goes there, he was very curious to know how the hell looks. So he asked an angel to show him, even just trough the key hole. He really wanted to know the difference. Angel agreed, but before going to hell angel wanted to show him paradise. Paradise was beautiful. So calm and cozy. People, all happy and smiling. In short, very satisfied with where they are. "Ok, now I'm ready to go to hell," said the human. They went to hell, and the human was shocked. Hell looked exactly like paradise, beautiful, cozy and calm, the only difference was that people here were unhappy un grumpy. The human was very confused and asked the angel how come, hell looks exactly like paradise, though people here are so unhappy? Angel's reply was simple yet so profound:" They think life in paradise is better."
This short story really resonates with me, as it shows that happiness is dependent on you. Your thoughts and your attitude. Your life can be good if you choose to see it so, but once you start comparing yourself to others, and think they are more fortunate and their lives are better, you burry your possibility to be happy for ever and ever, Amen. For example I think my life is great, but sometimes I am so busy noticing little shitty things, that I forget to be grateful for what I have, and I become like the people from hell. Then I know, I just need to take a few steps back and really notice that I live in paradise, and I can feel good again. Physically nothing changes, only i made a conscious choice to notice the good. Don't think that somebody is happier because they have more money, better cars, and sexy bodies. Of course those things can add to your happiness, but if you don't have a solid foundation that all that stuff don't matter. It's like you were unhappy and driving some shit car, and now you got a new car, all leather, 3 TVs, champagne bottle and maybe jacuzzi, and guess what you are still unhappy bastard.
I know we are fed into believing that we need better and more stuff to feel happy, but that's just society trying to make money out of you, selling you happiness. What? Selling happiness? But wait, happiness is not even tangible, so how can we buy it? Though we think if we buy something it can make us happier. So I guess the trap works just fine. THEY ( whoever they are, but I know they exist) tell you, you need all that, whatever it is for you, if you want a good life, and us human, all being a bit dumb buy into that. And again, I am as guilty as any of you who like expensive toys, but we have to keep reminding ourselves that that's all it is, just toys, to make life more fun, not bring happiness.
Ok if not things, that bring us happiness, then what does? I believe it's all in your attitude. Your free will to choose how you want to feel in each given situation, because it's often not the situation that makes us feel a certain way, but how we look at it. We sometimes want a lot, more then we have, but do we always need it? Its good to study yourself for that matter, to ask yourself what makes me happy? To find out ways how you can cultivate it. Usually, those are very simple things that almost don't cost you anything. Spending time with your partner, sharing a meal, having a laugh. For me it's even as simple as having candles lit and beautiful flowers by the side, my man cooking for me, warm bath, walk in the autumn woods with my dog, where leaves are all golden colours,watching my dog sleep, watching sunset, cuddle with my love and watch a movie, being inside when it rains, get uncomfortable in practise, pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and then being proud that I did it. Sometimes just watching funny animal videos can make us all cute and happy, and we all know there are millions of them our there. Find your little things that lift you up so that you know you can feel happy whenever you choose to.
Don't think it is your job to always be happy, because that's not normal as well. We have to let other emotions show up as well, because anger, fear, sadness, can teach us a lot of stuff. Just like those, so called, negative emotions pass, so does happiness. So be ok with a bit of everything, just try to have happiness as your leading force, and all will be good in your life. I don't promise but I really wish that for you.
Love You
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