Don't Give A Fuck

It's been a while since I've written something. Not exactly sure what was holding me back. Boredom? Laziness? Emptiness? Or maybe just too much fun enjoying my life, not feeling like sharing any of it? So.. Selfishness? Anyways, it was some form of procrastination, and I'm not gonna apologise for that.

I don't really have anything in particular to talk about but I want to start writing more. I realised, I am too worried for my articles to be perfect, interesting, special and original, and that worry of trying to be amazing just keeps me, well, stuck, or a more fancy term would be, I am having a writer's block. So I decided to fuck that and just write. Why? Because I love expressing myself trough writing, because I want to practise giving less and less fuck about what people think about me and either they like me or not, and my writing, because I want to learn to be ok to fail and be embarrassed occasionally, because I know there is no success without failure, and how can I become a better writer? By failing about a million times. Ok, I hope not million, but you got the point.

Way too often I have been directing my energy on things that don't serve me, giving my power away to others, and it is not like they were taking it from me, I was giving it away, voluntarily, in my mind. Only recently though I have been becoming aware of it, and let me tell you, its pretty life changing going from dress to impress to I don't give a fuck what you think.


We all do that, to some degree. We care about other people's decisions more then our own, trust that others know better how we should live our lives, caring too much about how we look in other people's eyes. And still, we never get it right, because we see things as we are, not as they are, so we kind of decide what those people around us think about us ,without often even knowing, what is it that they think about us, and even if they are thinking about us at all. Mostly, funny or not, other people don't really think about you at all because they are too busy doing exactly the same shit as you are. Then are worrying about what you think about them. So in the end all this is kind of bullshit and doesn't make any sense (and by the way if you got confused by reading this "thinking about us, thinking about you" go back and make sure you got it, this is important, You). Would you agree with me? Right? Why the hell we should make up some, most of the time unpleasant, stories in our minds, if, first of all, we don't really know what "that person" thinks about us, so what we are imagining is untrue, and why imagine something that doesn't make us feel our best. And let me tell you, even if "that person" is thinking about you, and they tell you to your face that you suck, then well, first of all, good for them for being honest to your face, and second of all, why should you care, because remember, "that person", whoever they are, sees the world not as it is but as he/she is. So basically that person just called himself/ herself a sucker. I would say, laugh.

I have been practising this art of not giving a fuck and it's been going well. Of course it is a life long process, but working as a model for 7+ years my, not giving a fuck, muscle was atrophied, I was giving way too much fuck about what other people thought about me. I guess that's the business, if you want to earn, you kind of need people to like you. Though slowly but surely I've been exercising my not giving a fuck muscle, giving it CPRs, and let me tell you, it's looking better and better everyday.

I hope you get me right, I'm not telling you that it is bad to be liked or to please other people. All I am saying, is for you to be more in charge about how you feel, how you look and how you speak your mind. Dress for yourself, not to impress, exercise for yourself, not for the turned back looks, do what you love, not what looks good. As I said in the beginning, don't care if somebody finds you weird or laughs at you, don't care if you get embarrassed in front of a big crowd, because believe me, not giving a fuck really builds a character, it sets you free to act upon your dreams, because you are not afraid to fail anymore, you are not scared of judgments and talks behind your back, because you know better, and you, don't give a flying fuck. Those people can go to sleep, for all you care.

Looove,
Kris