How often in life we react to our circumstances? Almost always. It comes to us naturally though, or better put we do it unconsciously and that is why it might feel like second nature. We feel like we have answer to everything, we like to argue and complain, we think we know what is right for everybody, we love to point fingers at somebody who is doing something we don't like and love to put ourselves on pedestal if we did something nice. What's wrong with that, you might question. Well, just hang in there and I will tell you my theory about that, and then it's up to you to take it into consideration or leave it, like nothing ever happened.
When you react to what happens around you, it's actually not you reacting but your Ego. Your Ego has formed from your past events, and has a set way of seeing life. It is a part of you, that loves conflicts, problems, it feeds on them. Many people know it as" that little voice inside your head". That little voice that tells you, You are not worthy; You can't do this, What people will think? You don't have any talent. Nobody loves you. You can never finish anything you start, and so it goes on ranting in your head, seriously polluting your precious soul. When you start believing your Ego and reacting in accordance to what it says, you give it power. You strengthen it. And then it really starts seeming that it is you saying all that stuff. It becomes difficult to see the separation.
I believe you are not your Ego, and it might be tough to see that. How come, you ask? Who am I then? I am thinking those thoughts, so it is me. What you are is Consciousness. You are the observer of everything that is happening around you. I will give you a little visual explanation to make it easier for you to understand what I'm saying here. So there is this voice in your head telling you stuff, shit stuff, but then there is that part of you that is listening to that voice. You see the separation? Voice - the reactor, You - the observer.
By just noticing that little separation between you and your Ego, you create some space. That is what meditation does. It's basic guidelines are to sit still and observe your thoughts, without reaction, without getting mad at yourself about how difficult it is, just observing. What's the point of creating this space? Well, this space you create by observing is very, very powerful. Actually, I know it might sound odd, but you are that space. By distancing yourself from your Ego you make it weaker, and slowly you start experiencing your true self.
Present moment and stillness are Ego's biggest enemies, because Ego can't survive in present moment. Have you ever noticed how often you are dwelling on your past, or worried about your future? Well thats your Ego doing it's job. Funny enough though, past and future are an illusion, as all you ever live in, is this moment, because when future comes it comes in the present moment. So therefor you can see the nonsense of Ego, it forces you to live in the illusion, by always worrying about something that hasn't even happened. Ego does all it can for you not to stay present. Again don't get me wrong, I am not saying just think about this moment, and never plan for the future. It is ok, sometimes even necessary, to plan, but there is difference between productive planing and just worrying about what's coming. I just feel that all we sometimes do is plan, plan, plan, and put off our lives, till we get there. But you know we never get there, because there is always more to plan. Ego is never satisfied, that is why if you live from your Ego, you will never arrive "there", but instead keep on worrying your life off.
What i would love you to take away, is on your daily basis, whenever you remember, just observe. Observe the events around you, observe your thoughts. Try not to react in your old ways. For example for me, I used to get very mad when somebody or even myself was late, or when i just missed a train. Then I started practising observing, and being still, and those things don't evoke any reaction in me anymore. Ok actually, still i feel some angry feeling surfacing when I just missed the train, but I observe that too, and the feeling passes. It's pretty fun actually. How can it not be? Knowing that all those talks in your head about you being unworthy are not true. It was your Ego. And now you know how to turn it around. Give yourself time though. Even few seconds a day by remembering to just observe already creates some space between you and your Ego. You know, just have fun with it. Whenever I have that voice in my head now saying to me I can't do something, I smile at it, because I know it is not true, i know it is not me talking.
Thank You
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