I have this fear of repeating myself. Repeating myself or somebody else, be it in writing, creating or anything for that matter. I get an idea to do something and then I procrastinate by saying : " What's the point? Everybody already knows that. Do I really think I can say it somehow different?" I know I can, but sometimes I tend to believe those unproductive thoughts more then my true self.
I am learning now that if I want to change something in my life I have to take an action. Action doesn't have to be physical per say, it can be phycological. Meaning if you want your life to change for better, you have to work on your thoughts, therefor they will transform your mind, and a positive thinking mind is a beautiful rose covered pathway to a happier life.
Ok to be honest I am not really sure what the topic of this article is. This is brainstorming in its truest form I would say, or maybe just rambling. Is it ok to do something without any plan, or a clue about what you are doing? Can starting something without understanding bring clarity and answers to confused and uninspired mind? Are you suppose to write just when you are inspired and clear about what you are sharing, or is it ok when it doesn't make much sense?
I guess in my case it's ok because that's exactly what I'm doing. I am writing to figure myself out and sometimes myself doesn't make sense to me. Sometimes I have many more questions then answers, and that can get very confusing. Sometimes I try to take in more then I can handle and that definitely can be confusing and overwhelming. I really have no set guidelines about how to express myself. No point one, two or three. No 10 step program to being my best self. I like order, but too much of it can suck out the colour out of life, and even with my favourite colour being grey, I like my life being like a rainbow. Sometimes it's like a song I can see clearly now the rain is gone, and sometimes it's kind of like move bitch get out the way.. You got the point.
Anyways.. Fear is a bitch, that much I know. I mean, there is no reason for swear words, they just sometimes appeal to me, they are simple but carry a lot of weight and I like strong words. Different words mean different things to different people. Anyhow bitch and fuck sounds cool, but just in English, therefor no swearing in my native tongue, Latvian. Does it mean in English I'm tougher? Maybe. Actually in life I don't swear at all, I guess I just like it in my writing. Helps me to express something better, so lets leave it at that.
Back to fear. Fear has two sides. It can make you feel stuck, like there is some unimaginable weight tied to your legs and you can forget about ever stepping an inch, but then it can motivate you as well. I really like the saying: " Every day, do something that scares you." We fear of change, of the unknown, we like to be comfortable, and a smallest thought about doing something out of that comfort zone, makes us, well.. uncomfortable. Comfortable is nice, right? Who doesn't like their comfy couch, remote in one hand and beer in the other? I know I do. Guilty as charged. But let me tell you a little secret, staying in your comfort zone is very, very dangerous. I know it doesn't sound right, but dangerous in this concept is meaning you stop growing as a human being, and therefor you stop living. You kinda just exist and that is no rainbow life.
See fear as your friend or as your bitch, you chose, but at first see it as a teacher. A teacher that wants you to learn things in life. A teacher that wants to show you that you are much more capable then you think. A teacher that wants you to live to the fullest by taking risks and stepping out of your comfort zone. Embrace fear and make your teacher proud.
Thank You
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