Nobody Actually Cares About How You Look



I don't know about guys but I bet many girls will agree with me, actually all girls will agree with me, that looking good and feeling good is important to us. Though I bet guys feel the same way as well. But feeling and looking good is different for everybody. For some they feel proud if they walked 20 min to the store and that's enough activity for a week, for some it's better to miss a dinner with family than missing their practise, which they go to every day anyway. For some they feel good leaving a house just as they are, for some they need to spend some good time by the mirror painting and repainting their faces. For some they eat a burger where there is salad leaf, and wow they are happy they had some vegetables, for some piece of cake means extra two hours in gym. Of course I'm trying to exaggerate here, but you got the point.

So I have some questions. What drives us to take care of ourselves? Why is it important? What looking good means to us? Who dictates the standards of beauty?


I believe feeling good and looking good goes hand in hand. But there is no question of chicken and the egg. First feeling good, then the looks follow. No other order is possible. We often think that we need to get something to feel better. We say :" Once I look a certain way, I will feel good about myself." But it's not the way it works. First you plant in the seed (your good feeling) and then grows the flower ( your good looks). Belief of getting something to feel better is a trap, because it turns into never ending dissatisfaction. Never ending race to never land. It suddenly made me see that image of, was it a horse or a donkey I don't remember, running after a carrot, which was tied by the string above its head. The purpose was so he runs after something, believing he is getting closer to the treat, but as he runs so the carrot moves away. I hope you see the picture. So don't be a slave to that belief.  Feel good about yourself, even if it's difficult because you don't like the way you look, but only love will bring about the change you wish. Only loving your body will make lasting and positive change. Of course there are people who diet and exercise to punish their bodies and force them to look good, but I believe that's a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later they crash. So, always choose love. It might take longer but it will come with much greater benefit.

Now lets see what drives us to take care of ourselves. I can talk just from my perspective but in my opinion very often it's society. We want to fit in. It's media that drills into our minds that :" If you want to be as happy and as successful as the women you see on TV you better watch what you eat and make exercise your friend. You better fit in those 0 size jeans if you want men to pay attention to you. You better.. " And so it goes. But do we ever question if that is true? And sorry guys I talk more about women here, it's just easier to relate to them as I am one. I sadly, or not sadly, don't really know how men feel, because my boyfriend never feels pressure to look a certain way, he just looks and feels good without trying. Don't hate him for that :). Back to women. Do we ever wonder if the image they are selling us is bullshit? If we can't fit in size 0, should we just give up on life all together? Every body is different. Why do we try to fit in if we were born to stand out? Why do we try to copy, if the original is more expensive and better anyway?

I say, fuck that. Why you should look a certain way to fit into some beauty standard? And who are those people who dictate the standards? And why the fuck we even have a beauty standard? Do we really want to look like clones? I just talk from my experience of being a model, and constant pressure to be supper skinny. To look the same as everybody, comparing and competing for the title "  The skinniest". But modelling world and real world are two different things for me now. I still sometimes have that stupid mentality that I have to be skinny to be successful and liked, but I also know now that in real world people like you for you. People like you because they enjoy your presence, you make them laugh, you have a lot to talk about. The qualities you are judged by are completely different. You are not less worth because you didn't workout for a week. In real world nobody actually care about how you look. They love you for you. For your soul. And that's how it's suppose to be. And if they tell you you have to look a certain way, then I'm not sure if those are the people you should hang out with.  Modelling world is a different story. Its more like, please look good, and I don't really care about how you feel, because its business and looking good equals money. If you are skinny, we like you, if something is a bit off, you are fat, go home. Again, exaggerating, but not lying, that's how it sometimes felt.

So don't feed into magazine illusion of pretty girls. Again I can't talk for everybody, because for some  they have never struggled with weight, and they are completely happy, but then there are girls for who, to look a certain way, acquires hard work, and that hard work is no path to happiness. It's constant battle to be approved and liked, by your appearance and not personality. So it fucks with your mind a bit.

I get really sad when I read articles about girls ages 6 and up already dieting and thinking that they are fat. How did that happen? And again I have media to blame. Magazines and TV selling the image of happy women, and beauty being the driving force. But that beauty standard is supper perfected. Not to say that models don't do anything to look good, because they do take good care of themselves, but those images you see, took a lot of peoples' work to make it look that way, plus photoshop, plus a lot of make up, plus correct light, and everybody can have their five minutes of fame. I am starting to separate the need to look a certain way to be liked be people, because I want to believe that nobody cares about how I look, that they all care about me as a person, and wish me to feel my best.

I welcome you to question things. Don't blindly believe into anything. Start separating from the zombie mindset of following the crowd. Embrace your unique self, find your style and be proud of every inch on your body, be it muscle, be it fat, be it whatever. Please, be unique and love yourself, and watch TV and magazines with open mind, knowing how much work went into creating that image, and looking good necessarily doesn't mean feeling good. I welcome you to chose looking good first and for most and I promise you, your beauty will shine trough.

I Love You


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