You Are In Control



Beautiful, sunny Friday morning. I am sitting by the window... How am I feeling? This week I was practising to imagine that fear and anxiety don't exist. Our psychology teacher suggested us to try it. And, you know, it kind of worked. I am saying kind of because still, there were fearful thoughts visiting me. I don't believe one can totally change their frame of mind in a week. It doesn't work all the time and it is not my goal to be totally fearless and never feel moderate levels of stress. Though it is my goal, to be in control of my life and my emotions in general a bit more and more.

Doing this exercise I realised that I have much more control over how I would like to feel, and it gave me power. There were situations, were before I would easily get a little panic attack, now, when I felt anxiety coming I told myself :" Anxiety doesn't exist. Really I don't need to worry about this thing." And I know it might sound a bit cheesy and like I am delusional but it is just an exercise. In reality I know that those are  emotions and they do exist, but by telling myself that I am choosing to feel peace instead, it worked. 

There is another benefit. Not only you calm yourself down in the moment, the thing you worry about actually works out in some very good way. I realised that sometimes you don't even have to figure it out. The answers find a way to you. But again, this is not a suggestion to sit on a couch and do nothing. I believe in an active participation in one's life. I am trying to find a balance between letting things flow and taking action. I don't think they work separately. You need both to be successful and feel like you are actually participating in your life. Not just being in a passenger's seat. I, for example, enjoy taking responsibility for my life and this therefor allows me not to blame others all the time when something doesn't go my way.

What I am trying to convey here is that of course you feel like you feel, but sometimes you have more influence on how your mind works then you think. And I think its good to at least know that.  To know that you have a choice. That when you feel sad and scared you know you can feel that way, if you chose to, but also you can chose to feel differently. Both ways are fine. I am not here to sell some "Always Positive" bullshit. Nobody pays me to write this that is why it all just my opinion. Nothing here is scientifically proven, but whatever, it is a diary not a scientific journal. These are really my emotions and I can express them the way I want. Right? 

Stress can be a beautiful thing if used correctly. Don't buy into illusion that you want life without stress, because no stress = R.I.P. ( That means death if somebody didn't get that). We are always under stress, even a small change in light causes our body to have a stress response and adapt to a new situation. But that is good because we need adaptation, that is how we evolve and learn. Your goal and mine should be to find that level of optimal stress, where productivity is the highest, you can concentrate and do some of your best work. But then you got to remember about relaxation period so that your body can recharge. Try practising to be in tune with our emotions so you don't go into distress to often. Distress = Burnout, and you don't want that. I guess many people get there anyways, otherwise my profession wouldn't really exist. I am psychology student if somebody doesn't know. But you got to give me 5 more years till I can objectively, with all the right tools, help somebody. For now I am just speaking out my mind. 

Anyways it is a supper delightful day, the smell of fresh breeze out of my balcony window, the clothes in the washing mashing waiting to be hang and me, hopeful. Just feeling hopeful... Grateful...

Love,
Kris


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